Supernatural - Alternate Worlds
by elainefr
Summary: Sam and Castiel come to some realizations about each other. Feel free to comment. I do not own nor do I make money off of any of this.


"You don't have to do that," Sam said to Castiel's working form after watching him as he diligently buffed and shined the '67 Chevy Impala without pause. "Dean can do it himself."

"I know," he didn't bother turning to where he knew, from his peripheral vision, Sam stood lounging against the doorway to the garage, "but Dean's sleep and I know that he has a date later."

"Date?" Sam snorted. "I'd hardly call the drive by screwing that he does dating…and I seriously doubt if Dean or the Jane Doe will even notice everything that you've done."

Castiel turned to face Sam then and in his same serious manner, he spoke.

"She might not notice, but Dean will _definitely_ notice."

 _Well, anything for Dean, right?_

Castiel stood there looking at him, searching every inch of his face, eyes slightly squinted, with that deer caught in the headlights look that he had made uniquely his.

"You're…mad."

His deadpan observation only made Sam more upset.

"I'm not-" he stopped recognizing that his voice was rising. "I just don't understand why you let him use you like this." Sam spoke in a more calm and controlled voice.

"He doesn't use me. He never asked me to-"

"Oh, he knows that he doesn't have to." Sam said frustrated with the way Castiel always defended Dean. Dean and Sam were brothers and Sam loved his brother dearly, but Dean's interaction with other people could use some work as far as Sam was concerned. It especially bothered Sam that Dean seemed so insensitive to Castiel's ridiculous adoration of Dean. I mean sure Dean is the best 'hunter', better than their dad was to Sam, but as a person- an everyday person- well, his brother could be an ass. His arrogance and single minded ways frustrated Sam to no end and yet Sam knew that to have him any other way wouldn't be having his brother. He loved his brother and that would have to include everything that came with it. Castiel was a different story though. He had proven himself, time and time again. Dean was nice- hell he'd even called him family and Sam knew that he meant it, but Castiel was not from this earth and his thought process was bound to be different. He was- is- was- whatever- a frickin' Angel and Sam thought that Dean sometimes forgot that. Sometimes, Sam thought, he didn't understand just how unique and special Castiel is.

"Dean and I- he said the he and I are family." Castiel turned back to the car to continue what he was doing, but Sam's hand on his arm stopped him. He remained facing the car, waiting for Sam to finish whatever he had to say.

"You don't have to do things to make him like you. That's not what family is."

"I had a family once. I didn't know it, but the others were my brothers and sister- they were my family… until I betrayed them." Castiel's voice lost some of it's wooden tone as he spoke. Sam was as intrigued as always with Castiel's humanization of emotions that he expressed in his voice when he wasn't aware of it. "I understand why they cast me out…it was inevitable given the way I broke the rules. The rules were there for a reason."

"But if you hadn't, then everything here, on this earth would have been long gone by now."

"That's very kind of you, but all I did was bring your brother back from somewhere he never should have been in the first place. You and Dean did all of the real work."

He felt Sam's hand still on his arm, ease slightly, but it did not move. Castiel turned back to face Sam.

"That's not true," Sam insisted. "You have been…invaluable to m- to us- to the world. You always put everyone else's well-being above your own."

"Nothing you and your brother haven't done all of your lives." He turned up the corner of the left side of his mouth the way that he sometimes did, as though he were learning to do so for the first time.

"Well," Sam looked away, letting his hand fall back to his side, "we were raised in the life. It's all we knew."

 _Why does he sound like that? Like he's angry again… oh, yeah…his dad._

"Sam…"

"You made the choice, even after seeing all the crap that we humans do to each other, you chose to help save us. You saw something in human kind that sometimes I question is even there anymore."

"I would sit sometimes and watch you humans and I would always marvel on the inside at how much-" he groped for words for a moment, "passion there was in each person. Even the ones that were doing awful things, they were still doing so with this passion that seemed almost a tangible thing…. I longed to be a part of it." The last he said quietly.

"There's no shame in wanting to be a part of something." Sam's voice offered comfort and an understanding for Castiel. "It's what keeps us human."

"I'm not human."

"You're the most human of everyone I know." Sam spoke honestly, causing Castiel to look at him curiously. Sam still looked away as he spoke and this gave Castiel the opportunity to study the features of the tall and sometime gangly man that seemed to like being in the shadows of his brother, even though he denied it. "You are what we strive towards becoming if we're lucky." Sam chanced a look in Castiel and found the other man looking at him intently. "What?"

Castiel quickly shook his head and looked away.

"Dean will be up soon."

 _Dean… of course._

"I'll just let you get everything ready for Dean then," Sam snapped and stomped back to his room.

Castiel made it as far as the door before stopping himself. Just what the hell was he supposed to say to the guy? He didn't even know why Sam was so angry.

 _Well go ask him, you douche._

Castiel put away everything that he'd taken out before heading to Sam's room. At the door he with his hand raised to knock.

"Are you gonna knock or just stand there?" Sam's voice made Castiel jump. Sam flashed a brief smile, "Sorry."

"Let me help," Castiel reached for the tray that carried the load of food that Sam had piled on it. Sam still held on to the tray and the tips of their fingers brushed.

"You don't have to, but if you could get the door…"

"-of course," Castiel opened the door and followed Sam inside the well-lit room.

"You can sit," Sam said and watched as Castiel took a seat in the chair by the bed where he'd set the food. "Help yourself."

"I'll get something later."

Sam dug into his salad and waited. Still Castiel said nothing.

"So, what brings you here?" Sam prodded.

Castiel's forehead creased and then he spoke.

"Why are you mad at me?"

Sam put his fork down and looked at Castiel.

"I'm not mad at you."

Castiel waited.

"I just don't think that you should have to do everything for Dean."

"I don't mind."

"I know…"

"I could help you too… if you need me to."

"That's not what I meant." Sam looked at Castiel's gentle blue eyes and sighed. "I wasn't fishing for help."

"Fishing?"

"You don't have to do errands to stay here. You can just…hang with- well, you can just hang out and have fun. Sleep when you want, eat when you want and just be."

Castiel seemed to turn over everything in his mind for a few more moments.

"Whatever I want?"

"Yeah," Sam said relieved to finally be getting through to Castiel.

"Okay then." Castiel smiled and stretched in the chair into a semi reclining position. Sam waited. Castiel seemed content to just sit there smiling at whatever thoughts were dancing through his mind.

"Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"Mind telling me what you're doing?"

"Hanging out, – with you." He said like it was the most normal thing in the world. "You said that I could do whatever I wanted." He sat up to defend himself.

"You can." Sam looked away then back again. "Are you saying that you want to hang out in here? With me?"

"Yeah."

Sam looked at him oddly.

"What?" Castiel couldn't grasp what exactly was so perplexing about it.

"Why with me? I figured you would be under Dean's nose by now."

"Well why not with you?"

"You like Dean."

"I love Dean."

"Well, that's-" Sam stood and went to straighten a couple of books on his shelf. "…nice."

"Dean has plans tonight. That's why I was helping him, because I love him."

"You can stop saying that. I get it."

 _Boy do I get it. You love my brother._

"I don't think that you do."

 _His voice is a lot closer. He must have moved- Whoa! He's right behind me._

"Look, how you feel about my brother is none of my business." Sam had turned to face Castiel and to his discomfort Castiel had indeed moved so that they were practically nose to nose. "You do know that he's going out to get laid by a 'chick' tonight right?"

Castiel studied Sam a bit more.

"I'm aware of Deans plans."

"He's not into you, like that."

"Okay."

"So what's with the declarations of love then?"

"I was simply correcting something that you said. I don't just like Dean. I love him."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it's true, I love Dean."

Sam tried to look anywhere except into Castiel's piercing eyes.

"Sam?" Sam's eyes shifted back to Castiel's begrudgingly, "I love Dean." He started to move, but the feel of Castiel's hand turning his face towards his again stopped him. "As a brother."

 _Why do I feel relieved?_

"Like I said, it's none of my business."

"Sam…"

They looked at each other- really looked at each other. Castiel's now questioning blue eyes found his answers in the warmth of Sam's brown-eyed gaze. They found themselves drawing closer to each other, both unsure of where this may be heading, but both also unwilling to stop. Lips met in a surprisingly gentle exploration of one another's mouth. It felt…nice. Castiel likened it to how he felt hearing the gentle fall of rain for the first time. It soothed and comforted him. His hand still held the side of Sam's face and he marveled in the angles that each bone made to cause such loveliness as the vision of the man that he now kissed.

 _You taste like the first piece of chocolate that I ever ate in this form. You taste divine…_

 _You're kissing…Castiel! What the what? Never mind that I am kissing another man, but this is no ordinary man- he's an angel. Not just an angel, he's Castiel- a warrior, protector… and no matter whatever else happens, he's mine- at least right now in this moment, he feels like mine….._

They each pulled away to reluctantly end the kiss but they still remained with Castiel cradling Sam's face and Sam with his hand on the back of Castiel's head buried in his hair still lightly caressing the scalp. Their breathes were both a bit ragged and their chests rose and fell in tandem.

"What was that?"

"A kiss."

Sam smiled. He had such a lovely smile, Castiel thought.

"I know that, but-"

"What did it mean?"

Sam nodded.

"Whatever we want."

"But-"

"Let's not label us. Let's just be Sam and Cas."

"You're right. Let's just be."

They kissed again, this time there wasn't just the softness of a new kiss, and there was a sense of looking forward to something more- something much more. The two men, by mutual silent agreement, knew that they would move forward at their own pace. Each would let this new chapter in their lives unfold together and see where this new and exciting path would take them as they continued to work towards protecting the world that they now lived in.


End file.
